"I am very good at working with Hipsters": Chinese Tycoon Tries to Buy Jalopnik

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle) 01/20/2015 at 13:01 • Filed to: Satire, hipsters, chen guangbiao, China, journalism

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A Chinese recycling magnate's bid to buy Jalopnik has fallen at the first hurdle, after he allegedly made bizarre remarks regarding hipster businessmen.

Chen Guangbiao had previously expressed his desire to buy Hoonivers e, but after he failed to convince the website's shareholders, he turned his attentions on the acquisition of its rival publication.

However, in an interview with Sinovision, a New York-based Chinese television station, Mr Guangbiao made the controversial claim that he was the perfect owner as he is 'very good at working with hipsters'.

Clarifying his bizarre comments, he said that many American automotive websites were owned by hipster businessmen, and that he apparently had 'equally competent IQ and EQ,' stating that not only can he understand the emotion of driving an old Alfa; he is smart enough to have a towing service on speed-dial.

Speaking of his previous attempt to buy Hooniverse , he said: 'I intend to buy Hooniverse , this is not a joke.

'The tradition and style of Jalopnik make it very difficult to have objective coverage of China's car industry.

'If we could purchase it, its tone might turn around. Therefore I have been involved in discussing acquisition-related matters with like-minded investors.'

Mr Guangbiao already has a reputation for his bizarre business activities, having previously sold cans of fresh air to Beijing residents suffering from the poisonous smog blighting the city.

For further reporting, see !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > For Sweden 01/20/2015 at 13:04

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say whut

Nibby > For Sweden 01/20/2015 at 13:11

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pls

if he wants hipsters, buy American Apparel and Pabst.

For Sweden > Nibby 01/20/2015 at 13:12

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Neither of those cover the auto industry

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > For Sweden 01/20/2015 at 13:14

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So he really want's to buy it so that he can turn it into a Chinese auto industry mouth piece?

Get fucked with a cactus Guangbiao.

For Sweden > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/20/2015 at 13:15

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Don't draw your conclusion from just my report; read the further reporting linked at the bottom of the post.

SteveLehto > For Sweden 01/20/2015 at 13:17

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I, for one, welcome our new Chinese Overlords.

Nibby > For Sweden 01/20/2015 at 13:21

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Hard to find a community that loves vintage Volvo wagons and French cars.

Wacko > For Sweden 01/20/2015 at 13:24

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This is lies, he wanted to buy Jalopnik, but when he noticed it's park of Kinja, he backed away, saying "I'm not touching that, that's too fucked up for me."

Bad Idea Hat > Nibby 01/20/2015 at 13:39

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Well, you can, but they're currently under the care of a series of good doctors.

Mattbob > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/20/2015 at 13:54

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my sentiments exactly.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > For Sweden 01/20/2015 at 13:58

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Wait, did he just called me a hipster?

Street Surgeon > Nibby 01/20/2015 at 14:13

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American Apparel make the best plain t-shirts :)

BKosher84 > For Sweden 01/20/2015 at 14:18

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Who the hell would want to buy this dumpster fire?

(I love our little dumpster fire btw...)

Sam > Street Surgeon 01/20/2015 at 14:30

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I agree. So soft.

Sam > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 01/20/2015 at 14:30

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Is that PewDiePie?

Street Surgeon > Sam 01/20/2015 at 14:38

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They last forever as well! I have one from about '08 that shows no evidence of pit stains, just a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit of color fade, and is still the same size/softness as when it was originally purchased. I should frame it and buy some new shirts :)

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Sam 01/20/2015 at 14:51

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No idea, found that with Google search, I think it's just another fashion model or something.

I first wanted to post this guy.

Buy didn't looked confused enough.

ranwhenparked > For Sweden 01/20/2015 at 14:52

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And if his efforts to crack into the American newspaper industry fail, he can always go after Ebony .